14.5.11

The ABC's of Sizzling Sex

Along the 26-point sequence of the alphabet there are many, many sexual references, and not all of them are X-rated. In fact, once you've covered the ABC's of sex—from the part of the brain that can interfere with orgasm to the essential mineral a man depletes with every climax—you may have a greater understanding of the wonders of the human body, as well as the human mind. Try these tips, from The Men's Health and Women's Health Big Book of Sex.

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13.5.11

Risky Business


When it comes to women, I've never done anything remotely ballsy in my life. Until 6 years ago, when I flew in the face of everything that Michael Douglas and Demi Moore taught us in the movie Disclosure: I put the moves on my boss.

It all started when I was at the job interview. Maybe because she was cute, maybe because she was funny — or maybe because I was seriously light-headed from inhaling exhaust fumes at the bus station — but somewhere between discussing health benefits and 401(k) plans, I found myself falling for her. I know, I know; it was crazy. What was I thinking? Well for one thing, I was thinking that she was pretty damn good-looking. When the interview ended, a friend of mine who already worked there walked with me out of the building. I turned to her and said, "So, what's the deal with Lisa*?" (*Note: No names have been changed. There are no innocents to protect in this story.) My friend looked me dead in the eye and said, "Bova, don't even think about it. She is totally out of your league."


I took that advice — for the first few months, anyway. Then I got to know her better and realized she was a really sweet, funny person. And after a short time working together, I started to think that maybe we could be more than coworkers. We laughed at the same stuff in meetings, talked about the same stupid TV shows in the mornings. Why the hell not? I mean, yes, she was way out of my league. She was smarter, more successful, and, I assumed, didn't live in a crappy apartment with a gassy roommate and a cardboard box that served as a dinner table like I did. But what did all of that matter? Wasn't romance about more than what kind of car you drove (or, in my case, what subway line you rode)? I decided to go for it, and the hard-core flirting commenced posthaste.


Whenever the office went out for a night of boozing, I'd find myself tap dancing, performing magic tricks, basically making an ass of myself to get the boss lady's attention. Sometimes she smiled. Sometimes (and this is a direct quote) she told me I was "annoying." But eventually it paid off.


About a year after we started working together, I finally made some serious headway. She had just bought an apartment, so I asked her if she could share some advice on navigating New York City's treacherous real estate waters. She wrote me an e-mail saying, "Sure. Want to talk about it at lunch? Or drinks?" Holy Jesus, I thought, my cute boss wants to get drinks with me!



 

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Perk Up! Coffee Packs Tons of Health Benefits!

nutrition:  article  Dotted Line

Green tea may get all the glory, but the top source of age-avenging antioxidants in the American diet is a different hot beverage: coffee. The beans behind your brew—actually the seeds of the coffee tree's fruit—contain the same kind of nutritionally supercharged compounds found in tea and other plant-based foods such as wine and chocolate.

Health Benefits in Every Cup
Studies show that coffee can help ward off mental decline, certain cancers, Parkinson's disease, high blood pressure, and even extra pounds (yes, really!). A study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine found that each time you refill your cup of java (caffeinated or decaf) in a day, you slash your diabetes risk by 7 percent; in another study, drinking two to three cups of coffee each day was associated with a 21 percent lower risk of heart disease.

Want to reap all these benefits without the jitters or coffee breath? Give your next meal a shot of espresso. "Coffee can give both sweet and savory dishes a rich, earthy element," says chef David Guas, owner of Bayou Bakery Coffee Bar & Eatery in Arlington, Virginia. "It works particularly well in recipes that star chocolate, cherries, blueberries, lemon, and stronger-tasting nuts such as pecans and walnuts."

To let a bold coffee flavor come through in a finished recipe, Guas says it's best to brew a dark roast with half as much water as you would normally use (let the coffee cool to room temperature if you're adding it to a batter). Or use coffee grinds as a rub for poultry, pork, or steak.

In terms of drinking the brew, it's best to do it in moderation, despite the body benefits. "Coffee is a natural stimulant, and high intake can bring on headaches, increased heart rate, or insomnia," says Nyree Dardarian, R.D., an adjunct faculty member at Drexel University College of Nursing and Health Professions in Philadelphia. She recommends capping your daily fix at four six-ounce cups and finishing the last one at least four hours before turning in for the night.

Learn what's inside your usual coffee order.

Make an Espresso Granita.
More at-home coffee recipes.



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Last updated: May 6, 2011   Issue date: April 2011 Dotted Line

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9.5.11

Do You Stress Yourself Out?

When you think about it, stress is a mysterious thing: You can't see it or touch it, but you definitely know it's there. And its enigmatic nature just might be preventing us from fully realizing the damage stress can do—to our minds, bodies, and spirits.

According to the American Psychological Association, more than half of all women say they're "highly stressed," an increase of 25 percent from just four years ago. But very few do anything to chill out. In fact, many seem to be saying "bring it on!" because somewhere along the line being stretched to the limit turned into a badge of honor.


That's how it was for Meredith Bodgas, 28, of Forest Hills, New York. Before switching to a lower-key Web job, Bodgas worked until 9 p.m. most nights. "I figured anyone who left before 7 p.m. simply wasn't as valuable," she says. She subscribed to the same misguided belief adopted by so many modern women: Stress is synonymous with success—and if you're not totally fried, you may not be doing enough. "I loved it when people would ask me 'How do you do it?' " admits Bodgas, "even though I suspect what some of them really meant was 'Why do you do it?' "


Stress Appeal
Turns out, high anxiety may be, well, an actual high.


"Some people think they need to be stressed all the time in order to really feel alive," says Patt Lind-Kyle, author of Heal Your Mind, Rewire Your Brain: Applying the Exciting New Science of Brain Synchrony for Creativity, Peace, and Presence. They become hooked on the rush they get from stress, which stimulates hormones such as adrenaline, dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA), and especially cortisol. The tension can become addictive—and as with most addictions, it can usher in an unhealthy craving.


The ready willingness to put out a welcome mat for stress also stems from myriad social and cultural pressures. While you'd think the feminist movement would have moved women way past this by now, "many still feel driven to prove they can be just as successful as their male counterparts," says stress researcher KaMala Thomas, Ph.D., an assistant professor of psychology at Pitzer College in California.


"In fact, studies show that women expect to juggle multiple roles from an early age. The result is that they end up thriving on stress and feeling guilty if they're not multitasking. They get used to the adrenaline rush and eventually interpret stress as a drive to be productive rather than a potential source of long-term health problems."


Compounding this is the possibility that women embrace stress because, somewhere along the way, they came to believe that the more frazzled they are, the better person they are. "Many young women think if they're not working every second of every day, they're lazy," says Steve Orma, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist in San Francisco.


"They are ashamed of taking breaks and feel they're not a 'good' enough person if they aren't pushing themselves to the absolute limit. It has become a moral issue."


Plus, a lot of women are willing to forgo sleep and sanity for an implied payoff. In Bodgas's case, she figured the more hours she clocked—and the higher her stress meter continued to soar—the greater her reward would be. "I felt as if I were one of those pledging frat guys who tells himself that the fraternity must be amazing if he has to go through so much horrible stuff to get in," she says.


 

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Fresh Air, Bad Air: How to Tell the Difference


Right around the time when the days start getting longer and temps begin to rise, it's normal to want to ditch your spin class and liberate the road bike that's been sitting idle in your garage. What's not to love about filling your lungs with fresh spring air?

Actually, there is something. If your favorite bike path winds along a busy thoroughfare, or the tennis court you frequent is located near a traffic-clogged intersection, you may be loading your lungs with harmful pollutants in the form of ozone (the main component of smog) and microscopic bits of soot, dust, aerosol, metal, free radicals, and other airborne contaminants. Not only does this toxic assault on your lungs compromise the effectiveness of your workouts, but it can also take a toll on your health.


Running on Fumes
First, some good news. The air we breathe has become a lot cleaner in the past 30 years. Since 1980, emissions of the six worst pollutants have dropped by nearly 50 percent, thanks to stricter laws regulating air quality. But here's the thing: People who exercise outdoors may still breathe in up to 10 times more airborne nastiness than those who spend less time being active outside. Whether your workout of choice is running, cycling, or taking boot-camp classes on the beach, doing any kind of vigorous outdoor exercise that causes you to breathe hard means you are gulping more air than if you were standing still, says Sam Callan, USA Cycling's sport science and coaching education manager. Even moderate workouts, such as a brisk walk, can increase the amount of air you inhale. And along with all that extra muscle-fueling oxygen comes supersize portions of unhealthy pollution.


What's worse, as you huff and puff through your mouth, some of that contamination whooshes deep into your lungs, bypassing your nasal passages, the body's natural air filter. The result? An irritated and inflamed trachea and lungs. You may wind up with symptoms such as a pesky cough, chest tightness, or a scratchy throat.


Over time, regular exposure to pollution may trigger exercise-induced asthma (an attack of wheezing and airway constriction during a workout) and ups your risk for lung cancer by 20 percent, the same as a nonsmoker living with a smoker, says George D. Thurston, Sc.D., a professor of environmental medicine at New York University School of Medicine. Joggers who regularly run in high-ozone conditions may experience a thickening of the lining of their lungs (typically a smoker's affliction), which may prematurely age the lungs, although the exact health consequences are unknown, says Daniel Greenbaum, president of the Health Effects Institute, a Boston nonprofit organization that studies pollution's impact on health.


Yet these effects often go unnoticed. In fact, the fitter you are, the less likely you are to see signs. "Healthy people can be affected by air pollution without experiencing symptoms," says Norman Edelman, M.D., chief medical officer of the American Lung Association. So even if you feel fine, your lungs and workout still take a hit.


In a 2008 study, cyclists pedaled in polluted conditions. Three days later, the distance they could ride decreased by 5 percent. And women, who have smaller airways, are more affected by the irritation and swelling that restricts oxygen intake than men are. A 2010 study of marathon runners published in Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise found that higher rates of pollution slowed women's race times, while men were unaffected.



 

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Crank up Your Metabolism

Have you ever watched a slender woman take down a big bowl of ice cream and wondered, Where does she put it? She doesn't put it anywhere, actually. Most likely, she has a Maserati-fast metabolism that incinerates fat before it has a chance to take up residence on her thighs.

Jealous? Don't be. While genetics counts for part of your metabolic efficiency, you can give Mother Nature a kick in the pants by simply tweaking your fitness regimen. "Your body adapts to exercise over time, which causes your metabolism to fall into a lull," says Geoff Bagshaw, group fitness manager at the Equinox fitness club in Miami. "Adding variety to your workouts will help you break through plateaus so you continue to see results."


Intensity matters too: Exercising harder promotes the growth of lean muscle, which burns more calories during and after your workout, says Craig Ballantyne, owner of TurbulenceTraining.com. The three strength-training techniques on these pages will inject a powerful double shot of variety and intensity into your usual routine. Replace one of your regular workouts each week with one of these fitness workouts and watch those extra pounds melt away


CONTRAST TRAINING
This technique involves doing a resistance exercise with weights, and then immediately following it with an explosive body-weight exercise that works the same muscle group. "In contrast training, the movement pattern of the second exercise should always mimic the first one," says sports performance specialist Barry Lovelace, owner of FitQuest Fitness in Allentown, Pennsylvania. In other words, chest presses should be followed by explosive pushups, or dumbbell squats followed by squat jumps.


Fat-trimming trick: Busting out an explosive move after a strength move trains your body to recruit more muscle fibers. Researchers at the University of California at Santa Cruz found that this type of workout (also called concurrent training) increases lean muscle mass while it decreases body-fat percentage.


Try It: Hold a 10-to 20-pound dumbbell in each hand, stand with your feet hip-width apart, and lower into a squat (as if you're sitting into a chair) for five to 10 reps. Then ditch the dumbbells and do five to 10 jump squats: Lower into a squat, then push through your heels to jump off the ground; land softly and immediately lower into another rep. Rest for one to three minutes, then repeat the sequence, working your way up to five or six sets.


PYRAMID METHOD
You'll do three or more sets of the same exercise, starting with light resistance and high reps, then increasing the weight and decreasing the reps with each set. A full workout of pyramid sets can be tough (and time consuming), so start by working one upper-body and one lower-body exercise into the end of your workout, says Ballantyne. This way, you won't exhaust the key muscle groups you need to complete your regular routine.


Fat-trimming trick: Unlike other intense workouts that build strength, this technique emphasizes muscular endurance (the rate at which your body can continually produce force), which can increase your fat-burning rate.


Try It: Holding a pair of dumbbells at your sides, step forward with your right foot and lower your body until your right knee is bent 90 degrees. Return to standing, and continue for a total of 15 reps. Repeat with the left leg, then rest for 20 seconds before doing the second set: 10 to 12 reps, using a slightly heavier weight. Rest, then increase the weight again and do six to eight reps.


TABATA METHOD
Fast-and-furious intervals—20 seconds of all-out effort followed by 10 seconds of rest—are repeated a total of eight times (for a grand total of four minutes). Researchers at McMaster University in Ontario found that exercising as hard as you can for short periods of time is as effective at improving muscle and metabolism as sweating it out longer at a lower intensity.


Fat-trimming trick: All-out effort keeps your heart rate zipping for the entire workout (even during the rests) and for hours after you kick off your sneakers. The end result? You burn extra calories.


Try It: Bagshaw suggests this three-move sequence: Starting with exercise one, do as many reps as you can with proper form in 20 seconds, rest for 10 seconds, then continue for a total of eight intervals. Rest for two minutes, then go to exercise two and do eight intervals. Take another two-minute breather, then do eight intervals of exercise three.


1/ Lunges with biceps curls: Holding dumbbells at your sides, step back and lower into a lunge, curling the weights up to your shoulders. Stand and repeat, alternating legs.
2/ Squats with overhead presses: Hold dumbbells at shoulder height and lower into a squat. Press the dumbbells directly overhead as you stand.
3/ Pushups: From a pushup position (or modified pushup position, with your knees on the ground), bend your elbows to lower your chest to the floor.




 

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5 Steps to Help You Stay Calm in a Crisis


From coffeemaker malfunctions to wardrobe malfunctions, life throws challenges at you on a daily basis, but you can't know how you'll respond in a true crisis until the unthinkable presents itself. For Daniel Hernandez, the 20-year-old intern to U.S. Representative Gabrielle Giffords, day five of his new job was life-changing. The tragic shooting in the Arizona supermarket parking lot and his quick response to apply pressure to Giffords's wound demonstrated that the guy has what it takes to keep his cool under fire—both literal and political. "I think what is sometimes surprising is how many people may rise to the occasion in a time of crisis," says Victoria Follette, Ph.D., a psychology professor at the University of Nevada at Reno. "Many people at the site of the Tucson tragedy responded in a selfless manner."

But how can you know if you'll respond with the ease of Daniel Hernandez or with a panic attack? "At times of crisis, many people respond in 'fight or flight,' which is the body's primitive response to a perceived threat or attack," explains Laura Streyffeler, Ph.D., a psychologist in Florida who specializes in traumatic stress. "Often the body appears to go on 'auto-pilot.' I have found that the more prepared and balanced a person is in his or her life, the more likely he or she will be more proactive than reactive during the crisis or event." Just like your Girl Scout troop leader taught you, always be prepared. Here are five steps for starting now.


1. LIVE A MEANINGFUL LIFE. What you did yesterday may seem irrelevant if your house is burning down, but Follette says that living your life a certain way can make a difference when push comes to shove. "I think that some people are very clear on their values and are always living in a manner that is consistent with those valued directions," she says. "That's why people don't need to think when they decide to move to protect their child from harm." Parent or not, having a clear idea of what's really important in your life may help you act to preserve it in a critical moment.


2. DEVISE A PLAN OF ACTION NOW. "Being prepared for a crisis, such as having a building evacuation plan, knowing first aid/CPR, or participating in fire drills, is always helpful," says Streyffeler. "Having a feeling of knowing what to do when a crisis arises often gives those involved a sense of control and direction. A proactive crisis response is always better than a reactive one."


3. BREATHE. Simple as it seems, if you can forget to breathe when you're practicing Cobra on the yoga mat, you can definitely forget when you're face-to-face with one in the wild. "During a crisis the cardiovascular and respiratory systems speed up and often go into 'overdrive'," explains Streyffeler. "Breathing deeply will help slow down the physical body, which allows the mental and emotional body to slow down as well."


Tips and exercises for better breathing


4. PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK. "Positive self-talk before and during a crisis is often helpful," says Streyffeler. Telling yourself how brave you are may help you believe it and overcome your fear. "Courage is facing adversity in the face of fear," says Follette. "Those who are able to allow courage to trump their fear will act more quickly, responsibly, safely, and ultimately heroically in a crisis."


5. LIVE IN THE MOMENT. "I think the most important thing someone does in a crisis is to stay very mindful of the present situation and to focus on the most useful action in the present moment," says Follette. "A crisis is not the time for what-ifs or considering a range of future consequences." She says hospital emergency-room personnel and soldiers in combat use this technique every day. "Mindfulness is a skill that can be improved with practice," she says. "In being mindful we are better able to set aside our thoughts and feelings and just focus on this moment and what is the most useful next step." Practice by trying to focus only on your dishes next time you're washing them or only on your dog next time you're walking him.


 

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Relationship Advice: What's Your Attachment Style?

Research on how we form and behave in relationships (called attachment theory) shows that pretty much everyone falls into one of three categories: anxious, avoidant, or secure. Here's the breakdown: About 20 percent of people are anxious, roughly 25 percent fall into the avoidant camp, and the remainder are considered secure, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Life experiences and genes play a role in how you form love connections, but your romantic MO mostly stems from your childhood (shocker, right?). The way you learned to bond with your parents as a baby follows you into adulthood, affecting your romantic relationships, which, in turn, continue to shape your attachment style. Identifying your style (and his) provides you some of the best relationship advice for women: It tells you how to move into the secure group—and if you're already there, realizing it can help you make your relationship even stronger.


Anxious
People who have an anxious attachment style crave intimacy and closeness. They love being coupled up, but they consider relationships fragile and are sensitive to even minor shifts in their partner's mood.


Little things their partner may do, such as not calling when he said he would, leave them feeling vulnerable and insecure. But because anxious people generally have a harder time telling someone what they want, they're more likely to mope, withdraw, or even lash out. They ignore the calls they so anxiously await or flirt with others to make their mate jealous. This method of reacting doesn't bode well for creating the communicative, stable relationship an anxious person needs to feel secure.


Your strategy: Speak up! When your guy says or does something that triggers insecurity, such as opting for a guys' night out when you were hoping for cozy couch time together, take a deep breath and stop yourself from picking a fight or retreating. Then communicate how you feel rather than expecting him to read your mind. If you voice your needs in a calm, clear way, he will likely respond by being more available to you. Of course, this can be tricky if you're partnered up with an avoidant (studies show that anxious and avoidant types are often drawn to each other because they validate each other's fears). But the confidence and empowerment that comes from asserting yourself can help you feel more secure and emotionally suited to deal with an avoidant guy.



 

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Cut 400 Calories a Day (Painlessly!)


Down your dairy.
Swap a 12 oz. café mocha with whipped cream (290 calories) for a 12 oz. nonfat cappuccino (60 calories) and trade a Fage Total Classic yogurt (260 calories) for a Fage Total 0% (90 calories).
Save: 400 calories

Shrink your cereal and juice.
Have a granola bar (118 calories) instead of a cup of granola (299) with 1 cup whole milk (149 calories). Down it with a large Florida orange (69 calories) instead of 10 ounces of processed OJ (150 calories).
Save: 411 calories


Slim your sandwich.
Spread one tablespoon of mustard (9 calories) on your sandwich instead of one tablespoon of mayonnaise (103 calories), skip a 1-oz. slice of Swiss cheese (106 calories) and put it in a large pita (165 calories) instead of between two slices of sourdough bread (370 calories).
Save: 405 calories


Deduct from dessert.
Trade a one-cup scoop of vanilla ice cream (274 calories) in a waffle cone (121 calories) covered with two tablespoons of chocolate syrup (109 calories) for a cup of vanilla frozen yogurt (221 calories) topped with a half cup of strawberries (27 calories) and have club soda (0 calories) instead of a 12-oz can of root beer (152 calories).
Save: 408 calories


Cut a few carbs.
Have a baked sweet potato (105 calories per medium) seasoned with cayenne pepper or other spices instead of a russet potato (161 calories) topped with butter (one tablespoon is 102 calories), cheddar cheese (one ounce is 114 calories), and sour cream (one tablespoon is 23 calories), and swap one cup cooked sweet yellow corn (143 calories) for one cup cooked spinach with salt (41 calories).
Save: 397 calories


Break your breakfast routine.
Instead of a plain bagel with cream cheese (500 calories) and a regular latte (220 calories), have a filling bowl of organic hot oatmeal (210 calories, 3.5 g fat, 7 g protein) with one cup of blueberries (80 calories) and 1/2 cup of raspberries (30 calories) and a cup of black (for caffeine) or green (no/low caffeine) tea (0 calories each).
Save: 400 calories

Snack yourself slim.

Instead of snacking on a blueberry scone (460 calories) for a mid-morning snack, and a small bag of salt & vinegar chips (150 calories) post-lunch, have a Greek yogurt (90 calories) with honey (64 calories one tablespoon) for the morning snack and a caramel rice cake (50 calories) for the afternoon snack.
Save: 406 calories


Slice some smart spuds.
Instead of 6 ounces of potato chips (600 calories), thinly slice sweet potatoes (160 calories) and toast them in the oven at 250 degrees for half an hou. Low-fat sour cream and dill make a healthy dip (3 teaspoons is only 35 calories).
Save: 405 calories


Sip a smoothie.
Make your own all-fruit drink and skip chain smoothies, some of which can pack more than 600 calories. Gay Riley, RD, owner of netnutritionist.com suggests this recipe: Blend 2 slices of pineapple (4 oz), 1 apple, 1 peeled beet, 1 carrot, 1/2 cup of organic apple juice, and a dash of water and ice. It makes two servings of 12 ounces and is only 115 calories each.
Save: 485 calories



 

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What Men Think: Nathan Fillion


You help crack mysteries for a living on Castle. Is there something about women that continues to baffle you?
My brother used to say that when you deal with women, it's difficult to remove emotions from an argument. I never really knew what he meant. Then I read an article that said when it comes to emotion and logic, men's and women's brains are different—my brother was right! Women are very mysterious, but that's part of their joy.

What is it about commitment that freaks guys out so much?
Losing your independence. But if you're with someone and you're afraid of committing to her, then you shouldn't do it. Men who propose...those guys aren't afraid. They've just found the right woman.


What could make a man say no to having a one-night stand?
Risk assessment. Is this worth the fallout? Do I want this person to know where I live?


What phrase do you never want to hear come out of the mouth of the woman you're involved with?
"We have to talk." It's a precursor for something bad. She's pissed, it's over, you name it. Nothing good [has ever] come after that phrase.


Detective Kate Beckett, your potential love interest on the show, seems impervious to your charms. When a woman acts indifferent toward a man, is that a turn-on?
I'm comfortable only when there's a mutual attraction. That's what anyone wants. If I find out she's not attracted to me, it brings down my level of attraction to her. If I'm interested and find out she's not, I tend to cool off.


If you put all of your exes together in one room, how do you think they'd describe you?
Oh, boy. I'm still in touch with about 90 percent of my exes. They would describe me as being unlucky in love.


Favorite part of a woman's body?
Skin. Because it wraps over all the real good bits.


 

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