Top kissing tips
New sex words to learn
Think you had it all sussed when it comes to sex? Think again as we’ve discovered the latest need-to-know steamy vocab. Cosmo is taking your language learning from so so to oh oh oh!
PSAS: Permanent sexual arousal syndrome. Not as pleasurable as it sounds – this means unwanted non-sexual arousal of the clitoris. It can also result in continuous orgasms…brilliant in the bedroom, bad for the boardroom.
SEX ADDICTION: IS IT AN ILLNESS OR EXCUSE FOR INFIEDELITY?
Autoeroticism: The act of sexually arousing yourself. Masturbation is sooo last year, it’s all about autoeroticism now – even though it means the same thing!
Priapism: Where an erection stays for hours after sex. Ever wondered why he’s ready to go again almost straight after your first session? Now there’s a term for it and it’ isn’t just down to his horniness
SEE WHAT TO DO IF YOUR SEX DRIVES DIFFER
Anorgasmic: The inability to reach orgasm. This is thought to happen to an unlucky 10% of women. If you fail to reach the big O with your man make sure you can reach it on your own first…
SEE OUR SOLO SEX TIPS
Erotophobic: An irrational fear of talking about or engaging in sex. Hopefully doing the former can cure the latter. Talking about sex is a sure fire way to feel more confident and at ease with it.
SEE TIPS ON HOW TO BE CONFIDENT IN BED
Homoromantic: When someone is attracted to their own sex romantically but the opposite sex sexually. Talk about confusing!
SEE EXPERIMENTAL SEX SUGGESTIONS
Karezza: A very long sex session without either person reaching orgasm. This is like tantric sex but one that goes on for hours and hours. Sounds like you’d need plenty of patience and practice to achieve this.
TRY ONE OF THE COSMOSUTRA SEX POSITIONS
Hyperaesthesia: A condition where you are hyper sensitive to certain stimulus. This explains the feeling then when we’re thinking of Jake Gyllenhaal topless or get a saucy text
Apodyopsis: An erotic fantasy of mentally undressing someone. We’ve probably all suffered some of his when spying a snap of Ed Westwick, with his clothes on – if only he’d be the next Cosmo Centrefold…
SEE COSMO’S NAKED CELEBRITY CENTREFOLDS
Liked that? Read these...76 Hot New Sex Facts
View Larger View Thumbnails Saucy secrets There's one ultimate goal during sex: to be as sensually stimulated as possible. The secret to achieving that blissful state? Having lots of steamy info at your disposal. As they say, knowledge is power... and pleasure. So we found a ton of just-discovered facts - some make it easier to orgasm, others will help you please him, and the rest...well, they'll make great conversation starters... 1) fb.click.back();return false;" hfbButton
Are you ready for marriage?
Want to follow Kate Middleton down the aisle? Unlike the royal riot around Kate and Wills’ wedding, don’t get too caught up on the big day itself. Make sure your marriage will last by having these important conversations before you embark on a life together
Am I ready for sex?
Q:
My boyfriend and I are both 19. I’ve only been with him for three months but we’ve been discussing having sex. I’m pretty keen and so is he, although he does seem nervous. Should I go for it? Or is three months too short a time to tell if he’s right for me and if I can trust him?A: Doesn’t time pass fast when you’re having fun? Three months, three years or even three minutes can be long enough for two people to know the time is right for love. The key thing is the knowing, not how long it takes to get there. Do nothing until you’re both sure you want to take the next step together. Related linksFriendship testI'm competing with his friendI can’t ask men homeHe’s shorter than me!Will he ever love me?Help! I'm so jealousLiked that? Read these...
I'm constantly sad
Q:
Sad movies make me cry, as does the plight of starving children and victims of terrorism. Sometimes I burst into tears when I’m in bed with my boyfriend, convinced I’ll lose him in a car crash or fatal mugging. What can I do?A: First, discover to what degree your dark thoughts may come from a crisis in your past. If you need help addressing an old problem, counselling can help. To find a counsellor, visit bacp.co.uk or call 01455883300. After you resolve any personal issues, I hope you continue to feel empathy – the ability to share the emotion of others is a rare and beautiful gift. So try to make use of it, perhaps by devoting time to working with charities that appeal to you. You may even consider a career in helping others less fortunate. Related linksFriendship testI'm competing with his friendI can’t ask men homeHe’s shorter than me!Will he ever love me?Help! I'm so jealousLiked that? Read these...
Celeb love doesn't come cheap
I've recently been trying to decide on the collective noun for celebrity engagements. A bling, maybe? We'll go with that. Emma Bunton and Jade Jones started it when she announced their engagement on Twitter, then Kate Moss and Jamie Hince got in on the act last week, followed by Katherine Jenkins and Gethin at the weekend... And as someone who's in possession of a modest sparkler, I've obviously been taking a keen interest in the colossal diamonds that have no doubt been screwed and bolted into those perfectly manicured fingers.
Leading the pack, Kate Moss with her 1920s vintage diamond ring estimated at "tens of thousands" of pounds. Emma Bunton and Katherine haven't done badly either but their pretty sparklers look like splinters from the De Beers factory floor when compared with the rocks that grace the left hands of celebs over in Los Angeles.
LeAnn Rimes got engaged after Christmas and sealed the deal with a five carat rock worth $85,000 (£52,000). And that's nothing unusual - both Katy Perry and Jessica Simpson's are believed to be in the same price bracket.
Now I don't want to get all worthy but let's just have a small think about this... £52,000 could also get you a two bedroom house in a not-awful part of Sheffield or 17000 mosquito nets. All I'm saying is that it's a bonkersly huge amount of cash to splash on something that was dug up out of the ground, probably by someone having an almost definitely awful time.
And has anyone else noticed that the cost of an engagement ring appears to be inversely proportional to the success of the marriage?
Yes, celebs have rocks that are 46 times more costly than ours (the average spend on an engagement ring here in the UK is £1800) but their marriages are also 46 times more likely to fail. (So I made that last figure up but it sounds about right.) So take heart. And if you want a real F
The first-date rules everyone should follow
A new survey by Windows Live Messenger has found that seven in ten of us never kiss on a first date. Apparently, this is because women ‘no longer feel pressured to kiss' - although hopefully, most of us have a snog because we fancy our date, not because he's puckering up and shouting, ‘BUT I JUST BOUGHT YOU DINNER!'
Women are also, apparently, more likely to bring a friend on a date, which I find a bit mind-boggling. Aside from the awkward seating arrangements, what if she has better hair than you?
I've only ever been on two first dates; one ended in a kiss, and the other didn't (I was on a lunch break, and he was so hot I doubt I'd have made it back to the office if we had). And I'm fairly sure I didn't bring a friend along to waggle her eyebrows suggestively and steal all our chips to either of them.
When it comes to dating, I'm not a big fan of following rules. If you've found the right man, things should flow pretty smoothly just by being yourself, talking about what interests you and listening to what he has to say.
But these statistics show that no matter how obvious basic dating etiquette is, someone, somewhere, will ignore it. The fact that ‘body odour and bad breath are the biggest turn-offs' is particularly frightening. Are people really not even bothering to wash any more? What kind of sick, scary world are we living in?
So, in the interests of making sure we're absolutely clear on the basics of a first date, here are my tips. Pay attention, please.
1. If he reveals that his favourite TV shows are Jeremy Kyle and Rastamouse, tells you his best mate is called Crackhouse Keith, or starts crying when he mentions his ex: run.
2. Acceptable first-date venues include: That chi-chi restaurant round the corner from your office, the hot new bar Lily Allen was spotted at, a cosy bistro where the owner greets your date with a manly bear-hug. Unacceptable first-date venues include: any food establishment where plurals are spelt with a ‘z', his mum's house, a cock fight.
3. If you're going to invent a fake phone call to escape your date, remember to turn your phone to silent. Real phone calls in the middle of pretend ones tend to give the game away.
4. Even if your conversation drifts into the occasional uncomfortable silence, keep your album of fake wedding photos and book of baby names firmly in your bag. These are best kept under wraps until at least the third date.
5. Don't go overboard with the flirtatious lip-licking, hair fiddling and glass-twirling. You want to project an aura of seduction, not OCD.
6. Showing him you're a normal, healthy woman by ordering pasta instead of picking at a salad: good. Insisting you go to Pizza Hut buffet then staying through lunch and into dinner ‘to get your money's worth': bad.
7. If you want to kiss him, kiss him. And don't bring a friend...
Follow Rosie on Twitter at twitter.com/mullies
Irma Kurtz, Cosmo's Agony Aunt
Irma has been Cosmo's agony aunt for the past 35 years. She was born in New Jersey and grew up in New York. After graduating with a degree in English literature, Irma travelled around Europe before finally settling in London where she became part of the team behind Nova Magazine (glory of the newsstands in the late 1960s!). In 1970, Irma joined the brand new Cosmopolitan magazine and instituted our agony aunt column which she also wrote subsequently for the American edition.
Throughout her time in London, she has contributed widely to every national paper. She is often a 'talking head' on the radio and has made many TV appearances. A few years ago she made a film in Australia for the Channel 4 series, 'Travels with my Camera'. She also wrote and presented a ten-part series for BBC4, 'Mediterranean Tales', following Mark Twain's route in his book 'The Innocents Abroad'.
Irma has also written three self-help books, two novels and three travel-focused books. She recently moved to Bloomsbury after twenty years of living in the heart of Soho.
Write to ASK IRMA, Cosmopolitan, 72 Broadwick Street, London W1F 9EP, or email her at Irma
Big fat lies about men and dating
If I had a pound for every Valentine's Day press release that's landed in my inbox this week, I certainly wouldn't be writing this blog. I'd be hurtling down a runway in a private jet made of goldplated pound coins, drinking champers from a pound coin goblet while endlessly feeding pound coins into a Swarovski slot machine... In other words, I'd be rich.
And nearly every one of these press releases has led on a HUGELY SURPRISING SHOCKING statistic such as seven out of ten Brits never kissing on a first date through to 26% of men pausing to check their phones while having sex and the majority of men believing that putting the dustbin out is the ultimate sign of affection. (Gosh we're a lucky bunch, aren't we?)
The point is, if I wanted to get the story behind the statistics, where would I find one of these kiss-dodging, possibly autistic, knuckle-grazing imbeciles? Presumably a swamp that boasts good mobile signal.
Because a straw poll of my male friends quickly revealed that 100% of them do their darnedest to try and score a snog on a first date, none would dream of getting back to a text while in flagrante and all have some grasp of the fact that putting the bin out is an act of hygienic necessity, not a substitute for roses and romance.?)
My plea? That you ask your male mates these three questions and if you find one who fits this exact model, you march him straight to Cosmo HQ so we can immediately feature him in the pages of the magazine, then pickle him for future generations to gawp at.
Do men want babies more than women?
According to a survey of more than 5,000 people by match.com, over half of single men aged 21-35 want children, compared with 46% of women. Now, as our Not-So-Single Girl Fiona Cowood explains here in her blog, at Cosmo we're often a bit sceptical about the statistics which land daily in our inboxes.
But this particular survey has made me feel like Scooby Doo facing a ghost in a haunted fairground, before he finds out it's the owner in a bedsheet. In other words: I'm terrified. Because since splitting with my ex a year ago because he wants children and I don't, it seems it's likely to be depressingly (for me, at least) true.
When I first became single, I thought it would be easy to find a guy who doesn't want children. After all, they're the ones who find commitment and green baby poo equally scary, right? But it turns out most men do want kids. And having spoken to lots of my boy-mates (and boy-dates) about this over the past year, I think plenty of the men who say they're not bothered about children are actually telling porkies too.
When faced with a woman who's firm that she never wants them, men baulk at the fact that the path to fatherhood is suddenly completely closed to them. They worry they might change their minds - or, worse, that there's something wrong with you for not wanting his babies.
I'm well aware that women who don't want children are sometimes regarded as a bit hard-hearted. Even though I know, categorically, that we're not, even I think, ‘Hmmm. That's a bit weird,' when other women tell me that they intend to stay childfree.
And if a man's with a woman who really wants children, it's in his interest to feign nonchalance. He gets to put his partner off and extend his youth a bit longer, safe in the knowledge that he'll get a family eventually - and when he does, he can shrug, ‘You're the one who wanted them...' every time the green baby poo rears its smelly head.
Okay, so this is probably just me being uber-cynical - lots of men want kids right now, and do their fair share when they become parents. But despite this women are, more often than not, the prime care-givers of children - and while the gaps between men and women's pay and maternity / paternity leave exist, this will probably always be the case.
With that in mind - and without even factoring in that women are also the ones who have to give birth - I can start to believe that men are, in fact, keener to have children than women.
This revelation means I'm going to find it hard to find someone who wants me for me, and not for our future offspring. I could find myself reaching the third date, dropping my bombshell, and being rejected over and over again. Which isn't anywhere near as much fun as dating should be.
So, if you meet someone tall, handsome, intelligent, funny, with a great job, a gold-plated sports car and no desire whatsoever for kids, tell him where I am, will you?
Follow Rosie on Twitter at http://twitter.com/Mullies
Great news for Facebook stalkers
It's the best and worst feature of Facebook - the relationship status icon that tells you your ex is already ‘In a relationship' (bad) or that his new relationship has just run aground (good - in a selfish ‘you-can't-be-happy-until-I-am' kinda way...) Well now, a new app is goading us to make an upgrade - forget casual nosiness, 2011 is all about gen-u-ine stalking.
The ‘Breakup Notifier' app tells you as soon as your crush is out of a relationship, presumably so that you can make your swoop or at least offer a fragrant silky shoulder to cry on... In its first 72 hours, the app was downloaded by 40,000 people - which means that at this present moment, a corresponding number of people have no idea that someone is desperately waiting in the wings hoping their relationship is about to crumble.
When I broke up with an ex-boyfriend, my false hope that we might get back together meant I often took a route home that took me past the end of his road. (Okay - it was a significant detour and I did it four nights out of five for the first couple of weeks...) It was weird behaviour but it seems like an age of innocence compared with what's possible now. Had break-up notifications, FourSquare and GeoTagging been at my disposal, I honestly think things would have ended up only one way: restraining order.
The technowhiz behind this latest app is Dan Loewenherz, a 24-year-old developer from Beverley Hills who took just four hours to knock up the tool that scans for relationship status changes every ten minutes. The ‘happy news' that your object of desire has just has his heart broken then reaches you by email, and you begin nudging your way in from the sidelines. Simple, apparently. Or in the words of my favourite Facebook update - it's complicated.
Follow Fiona at twitter.com/FionaCowood
Is sex with the ex ever a good idea?
So, Katie Price has admitted to The Evening Standard that she's still sleeping with her estranged husband, Alex Reid. As well as stretching the definition of ‘estranged' beyond breaking point, it also begs the question: is it ever a good idea to sleep with your ex?
It's an issue I've been mulling over a lot lately. Until recently, I'd only had ex-sex once. Having dumped my boyfriend of three years over the phone,
Should we feel sorry for men in a Mancession?
Today's word du jour is ‘Mancession.' Traditionally ‘male' industries like construction have been worst-hit by the recession - meaning women are starting to out-earn their other halves. And as a result, psychologists predict a rise in depressive disorders among men.
While the uber-feminist in me wants to go, ‘Aww, diddums,' I can also understand how hard it is for men to ignore something that's been drummed into them - and us - for hundreds of years. Namely, that they're the breadwinners.
Of course, in the 21st century, things have changed dramatically. We can look after ourselves, thank you very much. But even so, it's difficult to avoid subconscious stereotyping. For example, how many of you have secretly been a bit put out when a man has walked through a door before you and not held it open? Or left it to your other half to dispose of a mousetrap, even though he's probably as freaked out by dead rodents as you are?
Even if we don't follow or agree with them, we all know the ‘rules' which dictate our respective roles. So much so that they become instinctive, even when they're illogical (I don't know about you, but I'm as capable as the next man of opening a door. Unless it's, you know, really heavy).
And money is the biggest minefield of all. Our property no longer becomes our husband's when we marry, thank god (I'm not sure a man would want my Irregular Choice platforms anyway, really). But it's still hard for some of us to get our heads completely round the idea that men and women are financial equals.
Take my ex (no, please, take him. Ha!). He earned less than me, and I accepted that being with him meant we had to live within with his means, not mine. Occasionally, going on a week's holiday somewhere sunny instead of a weekend somewhere rainy, or to eat somewhere that didn't have a 241 offer on would have been welcome.
The easy option would have been for me to pay for both of us. So why didn't I do it more often?
It was because - and I really hate to admit this - a small voice inside told me that it would be okay for him to pay for both of us, but not so okay for me to do it. I've always been independent, and had never been bought dinner by a man except on my birthday. Yet I still worried that paying would undermine him somehow, and disturb the balance of our relationship.
I suspect that eventually, the gap between men and women will shrink to such an extent that none of us will flicker an eyelid when a woman pays for dinner on a first date. But until then, wishing the gender divide doesn't exist isn't the same as it actually disappearing.
So we shouldn't be surprised when men aren't sure what to do with themselves if suddenly, the pay gap is skewed in favour of women. They may be lucky to have someone to support them, but that doesn't make it an easy change to take on board.
And I, for one, will be offering my skint male friends all the support I can. And maybe I'll even take them to Pizza Express - after all, I hear they've got a voucher on.
Follow Rosie on Twitter at www.twitter.com/Mullies
Seven year itch? Make that three
For a long time, it's generally been agreed that relationship rot sets in around the seven year mark. This is the tipping point where couples start leaving bathroom doors open, stop having regular sex and replace romantic nights in with separate nights out. But now, a study has found that seven years has been telescoped to three. To blame? The pressures of modern life (of course) which are making us struggle to fit in ‘together time' and switch off from work.
It's unclear whether we're meant to think this is a good or a bad thing. To my mind, it's got to be good, right? Better to know sooner rather than later if you've landed yourself with a feet-picking, snoring, workaholic? Yes it would be nice to string out the romantic period for as long as possible but if it's going to hit the buffers at some point, I say get a look at the bare bones of what you're left with asap. Three years in, and you can lucidly decide whether the weird way he eats a jaffa cake is going to make you fantasise about hitting him in the face with a frying pan in 20 years time. You've invested some time but not so much that you can't shift into reverse and find someone else to park up next to.
Personally, I've always found three and a half years to be the significant stay-or-go milestone. My two previous long term relationships followed a similar trajectory:
Year 1: Blimey. This is aMAzing!
Year 2: We're going off each other a bit, aren't we. Let's ignore it because things are still sometimes aMAzing!
Year 3: Oh look - we're moving in together.
Year 3.5: This isn't going to work out, is it? Bye then!
OK so it was a little more complicated (the above also featured tears, frustrations and fall-outs) but in both those relationships, arguments replaced affection at identical stages.
And it seems everyone is different. A friend of mine says she slips into ‘comfy' mode ("he's going to find out I wear tartan pyjamas at some point") around eight weeks in to a new relationship while another's so committed to keeping the passion alive, she wheels out new racy lingerie every fortnight. My advice? Hold an annoying habit amnesty. Think back to every little niggling habit you've ever been accused of having and do them all repeatedly over the course of a weekend. Good idea because (a) you'll feel utterly purged and won't have the urge to leave all the kitchen cupboard doors open all at once for at least, ooh, three days and (b) he'll never be able to get annoyed about any of them because you laid it all out in the open. You see?! Genius. Do it this weekend.
Weekendvy? Sounds familiar...
According to a study (commissioned by Travelodge, fact fans), over a quarter of us lie about what we've got up to at the weekends. Presumably, instead of saying, ‘I had a row with my flat-mate about the recycling and watched Come Dine With Me,' we make stuff up to make us look all cool and sexy. Stuff like, ‘I was in the middle of a sky-dive when suddenly, I was offered a book deal!' or, ‘I rode a horse bareback along a beach while playing the maracas.'
And although I hate to admit it, I can kind of see why some of us feel the need to lie. The single life has lots of benefits, but it does mean that Sundays - and sometimes Saturdays, too, if you're unlucky - can be a bit of a barren wasteland.
Sunday is officially Snuggly Couples Day, meaning that few of my friends are free to read the papers in the pub and make up stories about nearby good-looking men (‘He's not texting his girlfriend, he's donating money to charity via his Haiti App.')
And although few peoples' weekends are glam-packed funfests, when you're a bit bored it's easy to assume other people are having more fun than you, whether you're single or not.
Facebook and Twitter, especially, can make you feel like life is a party - except all the cool kids have been invited to a different, better party than you, and are doing stuff that you only see on the telly, like keg stands and being sick on people having sex.
Like films, which can make anything seem sexy (except being part of a human centipede), your imagination slicks even the most mundane status updates with romantic gloss. If ‘Becky is making a risotto!', the reality is probably that she's making dinner on her own, and the risotto will taste like feet.
But in your head, Becky's risotto is THE BEST RISOTTO IN THE WORLD. And she's eating it with a handsome, Italian-looking man in a glossy, perfectly decorated flat, and she's wafting about in Stella McCartney lounge-ware, and even though it's raining where you are her flat is bursting with sunshine, and her hair is perfect and she's about to have amazing sex...
See? It's all too easy to build someone else's life into a glamourised version of the real thing, and convince yourself that even if they say they're bored too, other people's bored isn't anywhere near as boring as your bored.
The truth is, unless you're Simon Cowell, there's always someone out there having more fun than you. But there are plenty of people with not much going on, too. All you can do is make the most of what you've got. Go for a walk, visit thebestpictureontheinternet.com, start that novel about zombies you've always wanted to write.
And remember: if you're thinking other peoples' weekends are better than yours, they're probably thinking the same about yours, too.
Follow Rosie on Twitter at www.twitter.com/mullies
First-date sex signs
In this month's issue of Cosmo (at all good newsagents now! Just £3.50! Win £1m cash!), I talk in my column about the third-date rule, and the pressure it puts on women to either put out quicker than they want to, or wait longer than they fancy, if three dates isn't quite right for them. It all seems a bit complicated, really, and picking through this minefield of expectation is one thing I haven't enjoyed about being single so far.
But then today, I came across an article which made dating in the UK seem so uncomplicated and fun, I vowed never to complain about anything, ever again.
Celebrity Splits
View Larger View Thumbnails Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel
The are-they-aren’t-they couple have officially parted ways after countless false reports and unconfirmed rumours. The pair who’ve dated since 2007, released a statement confirming their split: ‘Addressing the media speculation regarding Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake’s relationship, we are confirming that they have decided to part ways. The two remain friends and continue to hold the highest level of love and respect for each other.’Get ready to join the queue ladies!
SEE JUSTIN’S EX FILES
1) fb.click.back();return false;" hfbButtonRoyal wedding panic
News hit this week that an American bride was taken into custody at her own reception after the wedding party had to be dispersed with pepper spray and she assaulted a police officer. It was a classic wedding fight scene - the kind of thing that only really turns up in novelty documentaries about marginalized communities and their large, oversized weddings. But with my own wedding looming, it got me thinking ‘worst case scenario'.
An engaged friend of mine started waking up with ‘wedding sweats' about eight months ago, thanks to repetitive dreams about lost frocks, awkward speeches and missing favours. It was classic wedding anxiety stuff. So far, my only bridezilla dream involved the vicar getting in a tizz because the organist struck up Stevie Wonder's /Superstition/ instead of Lord of the Dance, which I /hope/ keeps me on the reasonably sane bride-to-be barometer.
Aside from the ongoing concern that my mum might bring out her collection of singing dogs for the cake-cutting (yes, really) and an occasional wobble that I don't really like my dress (I had to look at it on the internet in the middle of the night last week for some 3am reassurance), I feel reasonably confident that 9th July won't involve too many unscheduled Big Day Dramas. Which made me wonder, how must Kate Middleton's worry list be looking right now?
With bookmakers taking bets on everything to do with the royal wedding - William being jilted at the altar (100/1), Kate wearing a red dress (50/1) - you've got to wonder what else is on Kate's paranoia list. If I were her, mine would look something like this:
1. Check Chelsy's outfit
2. Make sure Fergie isn't around for the bouquet throwing
3. Check Fergie's outfit
4. Brief waiters to swap Prince Philip's gin for water
5. Order some Regaine for William (four weeks to go - enough time?!)
6. Practise waving
7. Check tan next to Chelsy's
8. Ban mum and dad from bringing shedloads of party poppers
9. Practise balcony snog
10. Check Chelsy's outfit. Did I say that already?
Follow Fiona on Twitter at twitter.com/fionacowood
Who should pay on the first date?
Of all the dating pitfalls, surely one of the most fraught is working out who pays for what on a date. Etiquette tells us that the person who initiated the date should pay. Feminism tells us we should split the bill, because men paying for dinner is about as outdated as MySpace. And the bit of our brain which controls shoe-buying tells us he should pay, because you could be buying those Office wedges instead of going halves on a salad and Diet Coke (yours) and a starter, steak, dessert, coffee and five beers (his).
But apparently, none of these issues actually matter when it comes to deciding whose wallet should take a battering. Instead, it's all about how good-looking you are.
Researchers at St Andrew's University have found that the more attractive you are - male or female - the less inclined you are to want to pay for a date. Apparently, if you're drop-dead Brangelina gorgeous, you're likely to think you've already brought enough to the table - twinkling eyes, a rosebud mouth, amazeballs teeth - without bringing hard cash to it as well.
And it works the other way round, too. If a woman is good-looking, a man is more likely to offer to pay for the meal because he wants to impress her. If a man is more David Brent than David Beckham, a woman is more likely to want to go halves (presumably in case he's one of those charming men who think buying dinner means he gets an automatic free pass to see you naked).
Being an okay-in-dim-light kinda gal, who mainly dates men of similar appeal, I've never really had to consider bill-paying this way. I thought I had first-date dinners sussed by choosing somewhere affordable to eat, offering to pay my share, then presenting him with a beaming smile if he insisted on paying. But now, I've got something new to worry about.
If I offer to go halves, will he think I think he's ugly? And if he accepts, does that mean he thinks I'm ugly? It's all too complicated for me. Next time I'm asked on a date, I'm suggesting coffee.
Follow Rosie on Twitter at www.twitter.com/mullies
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
